However Much Vodka It Takes to Soothe Your Wounds

[renay]

Trigger warning.

I wrote an article in Strange Horizons. Several people had a meltdown and decided to ensure I would avoid them and their work for the next forever, and I sincerely hope it's mutual. Additionally, several authors, editors, and reviewers I used to have a lot of respect for have pretty effectively convinced me that part of SF fandom may not be meant for me, which is fine. Keep it, folks; it's yours!

There's finally started to be some discussion rather than Twitter fury, but of course I spent all weekend gaping at the Twitter fury that wouldn't stop. I watched the community "defend" authors against a pseudonymous, no-name fan (I'm extremely dangerous and hold a lot of social sway—oh wait), watched my own words used mockingly and retweeted by people being kind to my face (really??? dude, I can still see that shit, you're not subtle), and witnessed yet another fap fest over reviews (this was never meant to be about reviews; intent doesn't matter; the author is dead). I was pretty done as soon as I received the first piece of vile commentary where someone offered to put their dick in my mouth because I was being too mouthy, as you do. BUT HEY, SEXISM IS OVER. This is what people who write in any mainstream capacity put up with (besides the sexism stuff; I know about that part)? I'm exhausted and I can't even. What a shitshow.



Strange Horizons is my first mainstream gig. I was always going to go through this. I was prepared! Spoiler: you are never prepared. At the very least, it's been an adventure. My next article is going to be about bunnies. Cute, fluffy, space bunnies. I swear I will find a way to make it work. Niall just started weeping and doesn't know why.

I did want to highlight some awesome things I think came out of this:

1. Fans: You got your fannish preconceptions all over my critic's space — I really, really like this. I disagree with it (our perspectives and how we've experienced the community are so different!), but I like it. :D

2. You Knew This Industry Blogger Wasn’t Going to Keep His Mouth Shut — Justin's opinion, which I admit I wanted from the very beginning. Can I blame him for the original column? It's a little bit his fault, like 5%, but hell, next time, I'm just going to send him an email.

3. Rose Fox's comments in particular on The Book Smugglers post related to this issue, which has a good range of other comments, too (Ana and Thea, I am still so very sorry.).

4. Deloper of the Author — I needed a dictionary for some of this, but it's really fascinating.

5. Authors and Bloggers and Fans, Oh My — Easing my mind that some of my points made it through. Yay. :)

Writing! It's like gambling with your peace of mind. On the plus side, at least you can do it with no pants, which makes up for all the hard parts. Cheers, SF fandom. Cheers.



(ETA)

Comments

[literary_lottie]

I STILL don't understand why your essay engendered such vitriolic reactions. It was quite tame, to me. Was there some alternate-universe version in which you mercilessly shamed the author that somehow appeared in our own space-timeline, but only to certain people on Twitter? Because that's kind of how it feels.

This is probably terribly forward of me, and I apologize if I'm breaking some rule, but I followed this weekend's events with such appalled fascination that I ended up writing an essay about the misogyny on display. I'd be very humbled if you read it - though I linked to some (for me, anyway) distressing tweets, so...maybe don't click the links?http://literarylottie.wordpress.com/2013/09/17/bad-reviews-bullying-and-how-not-to-stick-your-foot-in-it-an-entirely-subjective-guide/

Sorry that you had to endure such a shitshow.

PS - I LOVE that gif of CC and Niles.

[renay]

Well, I have some guesses why! It was pretty controversial, it made people protective of their community/identity, and because I didn't make the most important clarification of all: authors are still fans, but cannot be fans of their books in the same way. Rose Fox did this very well, which I linked above. This was sort of vaguely there in draft #whatever but got lost as I refined the scale. I've come to realize the scale analogy is flawed, though. I've been telling people since before my article was even a blip that I wish I had done a 3D scatter plot, which might have created more useful discussion, and included authors (who yes, are fans) more broadly. Everything is better in three dimensions. DISCLAIMER: EXCEPT MOVIES. :|

I'm not going to argue with people's interpretations (well, a little in spaces where I know I'm not facing accusations of bullying), but I do suspect the fervor on Twitter meant that the idea that I presented, that authors should take care when entering fannish discussion space (not reviews; my examples weren't of reviews and I never meant to include them so that's my bad), wasn't sticky enough. The sticky idea that ended up being born was "authors shouldn't comment on reviews" and it blew up into a balloon tentacle monster of fury and spread like only Twitter drama can. I suspect a lot of the bloggers creating welcome signs for authors and policies are reacting to that strawman of single-author reviews, rather than my argument about potentially intense, multi-fan, explicitly interpretative discussions and how authors should think about it. "Think about it" is now code for "beat it!"??? My argument was never "GTFO!" as I would be a hypocrite, because there are tons of authors who have stepped into my space and been fine, and some who I hope know have open invitations. One of the authors in the Twitter conversations with PNH was one of them. Last I checked I wasn't a fuckmuppet to him; he escaped my wrath unscathed by my fan/author essentialism! I'll try harder next time.

Your position is probably correct! A lot of the bloggers creating signs/policies to welcome authors (that I've seen) are women. Of course, they're not really engaging with me directly, but rather just having a discussion to themselves, which is pretty telling. I didn't say it outright, but I suspected the reaction the people who accused Ana and I of bullying was gendered, but wasn't sure if it was BECAUSE it was or if it's because I've had multiple run in with those people (I assume they're both men) over gender issues in the past, where they shout down women deliberately and use the full force of their social networks to help do so and have no interest in examining their biases. I'm also not the only one who has noticed the pattern, either.

And HA, Emma Jane Davies, wow. I have a suspicion that's pure retaliation since Ana roundly took apart an opinion piece she wrote in response to us earlier this year. She's one to talk about appropriating any type of language when she does the exact same thing. Gotta admire her for sticking with a grudge until it's beaten and dead on the ground, though.