Let's Get Literate! A Year of Deferred Reading (2020)

[renay]

This year has been awful in many ways, but the one that's been the most emotional for me is the inability to read. Short books? No. Novels? No. E-books? Negative. Audiobooks? Maybe, but it'll take me months to finish one. Even if I managed to start something I would look up after fifteen minutes and multiple turned pages and realize I had no clue what had happened to the characters. Listening meant that I would try to focus but would end up zoning out for hours at a time, coming back to myself to realize I had burned through a few hours of audio with no memory of what I'd heard. The last book I read before my sole September book was in May and I struggled to get through it, even though I liked it.

Reading as identity—being a "reader"—is wrapped up in a lot of baggage. I didn't learn to read quickly. It was a struggle and I didn't take to it naturally. After long, frustrating practice paid off I was able to surround myself with books. I read everything I could get my hands on and "learned" words I would mispronounce for years. I made it through to become someone whose identity was rooted in reading, but the process was hard, especially since I had to watch all my peers bypass me and teachers be mean about my abilities.

Remembering the shame and the frustration from when I was younger is strange. It closely mirrors my current moment, because once again I can't read to comprehend. My brain is skimming over everything and retaining nothing. It's like time travel, where adult me and child me are inhabiting the same intellectual moment for dramatically different reasons. In this time travel story, by the way, I'm throwing a tantrum and she's shrugging at me with resignation, saying, "We've been here before. It'll click when it clicks, pal."

We didn't like it then and we don't like it now.

As the months stretched on I kept going through the motions of saving books that sounded interesting. For a few short weeks I kept adding them to my TBR but eventually the guilt had me shifting to just bookmarking them for "later". I don't know when later is given that we'll be dealing with the pandemic for another two to three years, more if we're unlucky, and depending on how November goes I have no clue where my reading energy will be, which is its own stressor. I don't think I'll ever go through the books I've saved if I wait that long. Instead, I'm cleaning out the bookmark closet a.k.a. my Twitter bookmarks and putting the books here. Potentially, I may get inspired to pick something up. If not, maybe someone reading will find a good book: a small joy during these awful times or a new perspective on old struggles.

When I was compiling I realized how much this list, especially in the nonfiction section, tells the story of the year as I've experienced it and the voices I've been listening to for guidance. The fiction section is less so, because it's not as obvious from the titles what the books are about. I didn't expect that type of revelation, but I'm grateful for even this evidence that time is passing even though it feels like I'm stuck in March 2020. The world keeps on moving. History is never still.

Disclaimer: I haven't vetted the release dates (or whether the books still have one), the topics, or their authors because I do that before I add things to my TBR and I haven't done that in months. There is no order here, and things are only sorted as to whether they're fiction/nonfiction. This is a look into my pure "That looks neat!" brain—things that sounded good or useful to me at some point this year. No filter! Browse with caution.

This post is dedicated to willowcabins for encouraging me to start the process of hauling out everything I need to sort. I hope you find something you're excited about.

Fiction

1. Nophek Gloss by Essa Hansen
2. She Who Became the Sun by Shelley Parker-Chan
3. A Psalm for the Wild-Built by Becky Chambers
4. A Wizard's Guide to Defensive Baking by T. Kingfisher
5. The Kill Lock by Livio Ramondelli
6. b.b. free by Gabby Rivera, Royal Dunlap
7. The Jasmine Throne by Tasha Suri
8. Stone and Steel by Eboni Dunbar
9. Daughters of Nri by Reni K. Amayo
10. The Good Luck Girls by Charlotte Nicole Davis
11. SLAY by Brittney Morris
12. We Ride the Storm by Devin Madson
13. Engines of Oblivion by Karen Osborne
14. Sweet on You by Carla De Guzman
15. A Queen of Gilded Horns by Amanda Joy
16. Busted Synapses by Erica L. Satifka
17. The Bone Shard Daughter by Andrea Stewart
18. Gravity's Heir by Sara Bond
19. Daughters of the Moon Goddess by Sue Lynn Tan
20. The Praetorian Trials by N.E. Davenport
21. Hungry Hearts: 13 Tales of Food & Love
22. The Dust Alphabet by Rebecca Podos
23. Dominion: An Anthology of Speculative Fiction from Africa and the African Diaspora edited by Zelda Knight, Ekpeki Oghenechovwe Donald, Joshua Omenga
24. Savage Legion by Matt Wallace
25. Fragile Remedy by Maria Ingrande Mora
26. Surrender Your Sons by Adam Sass
27. Never Have I Ever: Stories by Isabel Yap
28. Grumpy Fake Boyfriend by Jackie Lau
29. Make Up Break Up by Lily Menon
30. Heart and Seoul by Jen Frederick
31. Spoiler Alert by Olivia Dade
32. I Kissed Alice by Anna Birch, Victoria Ying
33. The Boyfriend Project by Farrah Rochon
34. The Tourist Attraction by Sarah Morgenthaler
35. Meet Cute Club by Jack Harbon
36. I Think I Love You by Auriane Desombre
37. The Scapegracers by Hannah Abigail Clarke
38. Light From Uncommon Stars by Ryka Aoki
39. Persephone Station by Stina Leicht
40. Iron Widow by Xiran Jay Zhao
41. This Virtual Night by C.S. Friedman
42. A Taste of Sage by Yaffa S. Santos
43. Earthlings by Sayaka Murata, Ginny Tapley Takemori
44. How High We Go in the Dark by Sequoia Nagamatsu
45. The Phlebotomist by Chris Panatier
46. Machinehood by S.B. Divya
47. The Final Strife by Saara El-Arifi
48. Goddess in the Machine by Lora Beth Johnson
49. On Fragile Waves by E. Lily Yu
50. When the Tiger Came Down the Mountain by Nghi Vo
51. The Winter Duke by Claire Eliza Bartlett
52. In the Ravenous Dark by A.M. Strickland
53. Annihilation Aria by Michael R. Underwood
54. The Dark Tide by Alicia Jasinska
55. Winter's Orbit by Everina Maxwell
56. Among the Beasts & Briars by Ashley Poston
57. The Old Drift by Namwali Serpell
58. The Year of the Witching by Alexis Henderson
59. Lobizona by Romina Garber
60. You Deserve Each Other by Sarah Hogle
61. Seven Devils by Laura Lam, Elizabeth May
62. Liquid Crystal Nightingale by Eeleen Lee
63. Fireheart Tiger by Aliette de Bodard
64. Winter Break by Jake Arlow
65. Skyward Inn by Aliya Whiteley
66. The Vicar and the Rake by Annabelle Greene
67. The First Sister by Linden A. Lewis
68. Crownchasers by Rebecca Coffindaffer
69. Re-Coil by J.T. Nicholas
70. Tuyo by Rachel Neumeier
71. The Unbroken by C. L. Clark
72. Star Eater by Kerstin Hall
73. Son of the Storm by Suyi Davies Okungbowa
74. The Ones We're Meant to Find by Joan He
75. A Master of Djinn by P. Djèlí Clark

Nonfiction

1. Mediocre: The Dangerous Legacy of White Male America by Ijeoma Oluo
2. A Dead White: An Argument Against White Paint by Wendy S. Walters
3. The Long Term: Resisting Life Sentences Working Toward Freedom edited by Alice Kim, Erica Meiners, Jill Petty
4. Artificial Whiteness: Politics and Ideology in Artificial Intelligence by Yarden Katz
5. Can't Pay, Won't Pay: The Case for Economic Disobedience and Debt Abolition by Collective Debt
6. The Googlization of Everything (And Why We Should Worry) by Siva Vaidhyanathan
7. This Nonviolent Stuff'll Get You Killed: How Guns Made the Civil Rights Movement Possible by Charles E. Cobb, Jr.
8. Beyond Survival: Strategies and Stories from the Transformative Justice Movement edited by Ejeris Dixon, Leah Lakshmi Piepzna-Samarasinha
9. The Loud Minority: Why Protests Matter in American Democracy by Daniel Q. Gillion
10. Caste: The Origins of Our Discontents by Isabel Wilkerson
11. How to Be Alone: If You Want To, and Even If You Don't by Lane Moore
12. American Rule: How a Nation Conquered the World but Failed Its People by Jared Yates Sexton
13. How Capitalism Underdeveloped Black America by Manning Marable
14. Policing the Planet: Why the Policing Crisis Led to Black Lives Matter edited by Jordan T. Camp, Christina Heatherton
15. Antisocial: Online Extremists, Techno-Utopians, and the Hijacking of the American Conversation by Andrew Marantz
16. The Cruelty is the Point by Adam Serwer
17. The Conscience of America by Adam Serwer
18. Insurgent Empire: Anticolonial Resistance and British Dissent by Priyamvada Gopal
19. Vexy Thing: On Gender and Liberation by Imani Perry
20. Black Software: The Internet & Racial Justice, from the Afronet to Black Lives Matter by Charlton D. McIlwain
21. Black on Both Sides: A Racial History of Trans Identity by C. Riley Snorton
22. Becoming Human: Matter and Meaning in an Antiblack World by Zakiyyah Iman Jackson
23. From Here to Equality: Reparations for Black Americans in the Twenty-First Century by William A. Darity, A. Kirsten Mullen
24. King Leopold's Ghost by Adam Hochschild
25. Blood at the Root: A Racial Cleansing in America by Patrick Phillips
26. Unequal Childhoods: Class, Race, and Family Life by Annette Lareau
27. Disability Visibility: First-Person Stories from the Twenty-First Century edited by Alice Wong
28. Culture Warlords: My Journey Into the Dark Web of White Supremacy by Talia Lavin
29. Say It Louder! Black Voters, White Narratives, and Saving Our Democracy by Tiffany Cross
30. The Framers' Coup: The Making of the United States Constitution by Michael J. Klarman
31. African Europeans: An Untold History by Olivette Otele
32. How Fascism Works: The Politics of Us and Them by Jason Stanley
33. The Sirens of Mars: Searching for Life on Another World by Sarah Stewart Johnson
34. Queer Cowboys And Other Erotic Male Friendships in Nineteenth-Century American Literature by C. Packard
35. We're Better Than This: My Fight for the Future of Our Democracy by Elijah Cummings, James Dale, Maya Rockeymoore Cummings
36. Reclaiming Her Time: The Power of Maxine Waters by Helena Andrews-Dyer, R. Eric Thomas
37. The Ones We've Been Waiting For: How a New Generation of Leaders Will Transform America by Charlotte Alter
38. Lost Transmissions: The Secret History of Science Fiction and Fantasy by Desirina Boskovich
39. Marriage, a History: How Love Conquered Marriage by Stephanie Coontz
40. Badges without Borders: How Global Counterinsurgency Transformed American Policing by Stuart Schrader
41. Carceral Capitalism by Jackie Wang
42. The American Slave Coast: A History of the Slave-Breeding Industry by Ned Sublette, Constance Sublette
43. A Brief History of Neoliberalism by David Harvey
44. Tropic of Chaos: Climate Change and the New Geography of Violence by Christian Parenti
45. Undelivered: From the Great Postal Strike of 1970 to the Manufactured Crisis of the U.S. Postal Service by Philip F. Rubio
46. Choice and Coercion: Birth Control, Sterilization, and Abortion in Public Health and Welfare by Johanna Schoen
47. Four Hundred Souls: A Community History of African America, 1619-2019 edited by Ibram X. Kendi, Keisha N. Blain
48. The Book of Awesome Black Americans by Monique L. Jones
49. Fandom, Now in Color: A Collection of Voices by Rukmini Pande
50. Winning the Green New Deal: Why We Must, How We Can by Varshini Prakash, Guido Girgenti
51. Soul in Seoul: African American Popular Music and K-Pop by Crystal S. Anderson
52. Sundown Towns:A Hidden Dimension of American Racism by James W. Loewen
53. What Can a Body Do? How We Meet the Built World by Sara Hendren
54. From Fascism to Populism in History by Federico Finchelstein
55. Stakes Is High: Life After the American Dream by Mychal Denzel Smith
56. A Square Meal: A Culinary History of the Great Depression by Jane Ziegelman, Andrew Coe
57. Vanguard: How Black Women Broke Barriers, Won the Vote, and Insisted on Equality for All by Martha S. Jones
58. The Radio Right: How a Band of Broadcasters Took on the Federal Government and Built the Modern Conservative Movement by Paul Matzko
59. The Paranoid Style in American Politics by Richard Hofstadter, Sean Wilentz
60. Let them Eat Tweets: How the Right Rules in an Age of Extreme Inequality by Jacob S. Hacker, Paul Pierson
61. The Riches of This Land: The Untold, True Story of America's Middle Class by Jim Tankersley

Note! During these Plague Years, several things can help books:

• Ordering (or pre-ordering) from indie bookstores will help out a lot. Pre-ordering books that aren't out yet will also help authors, especially those writing a series.
• If you don't have the funds to order books, check to see if your local library will order the book and put it on hold for you.
• I try to promote books on non-Amazon services first and foremost, but the truth is Goodreads is still popular! If you use Goodreads, add any books that sound interesting to your TBR! You can also try The StoryGraph, which is in beta with limited features, but still very cool.

Support the literary community any way you can. If all that means is being excited about books you like on Twitter Dot Com—do it. Every book on this list started as a Twitter announcement or recommendation that I saved.

Comments

[princessofgeeks]

I'm so sorry to hear about your reading struggles. I feel that so intensely.

I have been able to keep reading but only predictable comfort reading. Mostly detective novels or things I have read before.

Feeling like you are not able to do the work of supporting new authors is an additional blow for you I am sure.

Hang in there. I wish you comfort and hope things get better. Thank for the the exciting lists!

[renay]

Yeah, I'm actually in the middle of an audiobook I really like right now so I'm HOPING that this means my reading slump is coming to an end (Bonds of Brass, which is a fun planetary romance).

I hope to one day soon be reading books off these lists! FINGERS CROSSED.

[brownbetty]

I'm at, for some reason, "unable to read fiction, only fanfiction" which is super annoying, because I can't even read sequels I've been anticipating. Low five of solidarity, and thanks for making this space to talk about like. Being in this brain place.

[renay]

Yeah, I've heard a lot of the same from friends. I read Untamed fanfic until I couldn't even handle that anymore....probably late March? Really grateful to all the fans still putting out content since that seems like a big coping mechanism for so many.

This too shall pass, but I hope it's sooner rather than later. I want to be OUT of this brain place and back into Book Central. 😂

[brownbetty]

I am, weirdly, after five years of being unable to write fic, able to write fanfiction again. Maybe there's a sweet spot of anxiety, or maybe if the ambient stress gets high enough, performance anxiety doesn't register?

Brains! Evolution did not equip us for this level of fucked-up-ness!

[cgbookcat1]

I've had a lighter version of this. For the first 3-4 months of the pandemic I read almost nothing but rereads. T. Kingfisher's A Wizard's Guide to Defensive Baking was one of the first new things I read (10/10, will read again). I'm still reading more than my usual share of rereads, cozy mysteries, and lighter works, but my brain is recovering.

[renay]

Oh, I'm so happy to hear that your comfort reads still worked for you! That's such good news. Based on everyone else's experience I think this is pretty normal (for example, I dropped reading fiction wholesale my first year back to college), it just feels worse because of all the external *waves hand* stuff. We'll all come out the other side, it'll just take some time.

(Also I am VERY excited about the Kingfisher book since I read the blurb.)

[tozka]

I really love this post and will be adding lots of these books to my own “maybe once the pandemic is over” reading list. Unfortunately I’ve also been unable to read books like I used to— tho I HAVE been reading lots of fanfic (some even book length!). I think it’s because I don’t have to learn whole new settings/characters/plots/etc, I can just sink into the comfort of a familiar, favorite fandom.

Weirdly comforting to know that other readers are going thru the same thing. It stinks, but at least we aren’t alone!

[ladythmpr]

I'll add a "me too" to this. It's been REALLY hard for me to read during the pandemic, especially books. I can read web articles, and did read fanfic for a while (but not in the past 2 months), but books are hard. I think I've read 4 books since March, and maybe half-read 2 others.