Yes, I completely agree with this: "the problem is simply that we're structurally trying to fit a culture and system that rewards traditional male behaviour while tolerating traditional female behaviour onto an ethos that recognizes the weaknesses of such a system." I want a world where a) we stop gendering each type of behaviour and placing it in a hierarchy, and b) we see more stories with both men and women in either position without this implying a power imbalance.

Neil Cassidy IS a perfect example of the kind of thing I'm talking about, though yes, Sal's gender does change the dynamics. Still, I'm incredibly drawn to that story for the exact same reasons why I'm drawn to all of these other stories.

I also agree about Breakfast at Tiffany's being about the process itself, kind of in a similar way to The Virgin Suicides or John Green's Paper Towns. But I can only speak about the book, since I haven't watched the movie (I know, I know :P). I hear that they're actually quite different, but I'm not sure how, exactly.