ladybusiness | (Reply)

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OH UGH JONATHAN FRANZEN. I knew without clicking what that link was going to be about. I have tried like ten times to be fair and intellectually objective about him because enough people seem to approve of him and his writing (which I think is okay but not scintillating, and often transparently intentionally mediocre in a smug way, which I really wish wasn't the defining characteristic of self-consciously modern writing) that I feel like I must be missing something but that article was a) truly baffling as literary criticism b) the point where I decided that my permanent response to him was going to be WHATEVER DUDE. Like an email away message or that thing in novels where the lady is Not At Home even when she totally is. Text output from Mr. Franzen at 13:11:40 >> Auto-response from lionpyh at 13:11:41 WHATEVER DUDE.

The asexuality article was surprisingly unterrible, speaking as a tadpole. The fact that they took the trouble to have more than one interviewee and not edit to make them sound like batty shut-ins was key. I also really appreciated the emphasis on how people who are interested in sex try to, like, debate you into having lots of sex, in a very weird 'for your own good' way. Even weirder when they're earnestly insisting that it's not because they want to have sex with you and they're kind of insulted! that you interpret their insistence on this as such, their motives are chaste and pure, they just think you should be having sex. Because. Or respectably tormented by the lack of sex in your life, like normal, virtuous people are.* That is like 65% of the responses I have ever gotten when asked about my sexuality and I have replied unaffiliated, the other 34.9% being MY COCK IS THE CURE.
* This has been a consistent young Christian male response, and maybe my favorite for sheer projection value. Young men who are saving it for marriage want to talk about LUST like no other demographic I have ever met. Points for knowing that some women really like sex I guess but I am sorry, I do not have your problem, sir, and also no gold stars for your faith giving you the strength to refrain from groping girls on the subway as the heathen do. Please try to passionately commiserate elsewhere.