Ok fam, hold up. I don't have an account on this website so I have to make this anonymous, and this is going to be a long read. I read this book last year and I thought it was spectacular. Yes, it was a mess, but Austin was a mess. I'm very gay myself and I found his struggle with sexuality to be very honest. His refusal to take the 'bisexual' title is probably something that bisexuals can very much relate to. If they were looking for a character that was set in his bisexuality, they should look elsewhere; Austin puts the Q in LGBTQ+.
And lets not stop there, I would go as far as to say that I thought it was admirable how the other characters didn't allow Austin to use his questioning as an excuse for his poor handling of the situation. Hell, I know I've dealt with enough questioning girls who felt that because they were 'confused' it didn't matter that they were hurting me.
Yes, Austin's hyper-sexuality was somewhat overkill but for a person who is confused sexually and may be subconsciously repressing a lot of sexual feelings towards men, it is understandable that those feelings would be released in other areas. (I had this experience when I was growing up, dating many guys and genuinely believing I had feelings for them at the time. I've found many other lesbians who also found themselves "boy-crazy" in their adolescent years, completely unaware of their true feelings.)
I didn't feel that the quote about coffee was referring to rape or any questionable consent? I think what Austin meant by "compliant" was less on the "complaisant" side, not so much a "this girl will let me have sex with her even when she doesn't want to," and more on the consenting side. So kind of like "this girl constantly wants to have sex with me." He isn't stating that he would be angry if that were not the case, or that he feels he deserves a girl like that, he is simply stating that that thought would generally make him horny.
As for the rape of his great-grandmother, I thought that was more complicated than you have pointed out. I believe that Phoebe was raped, for sure, but the point the author is trying to get across is that she was dealing with being in love with a homosexual man. She wanted to have sex with him. I don't believe she wanted it to be like this, I don't believe she wanted to be raped. Again, I believe this was rape. But the POINT; she wanted him to want (key word: want, NOT rape) her and he did not, but she very sadly accepted that this rape would be the only way he would ever want her. She did not enjoy it, obviously, but she was so desperate and sad that she accepted it. The author is portraying two people going through shitty situations, his horrific way of dealing with it and her desperation. He hated Phoebe after because he saw in her his failure, not because she was a rape victim or deflowered or something like that, and he was disgusted with himself too.
It's hard to make a point here because rape is a sensitive issue but it isn't black and white, so to speak. It is a fact that is presented that Phoebe did allow herself to be raped, because she wanted the man to want to have sex with her. It is not the man saying "no it wasn't rape because I know she wanted it!!!" It is not victim blaming. It is still rape, it is still shitty, she still did not enjoy it. If she had fought the rape, the narrative of the story wouldn't have fit. I hope this is coming across how I intend it to, not blaming her or saying it was okay but explaining the intentions of the narrative and why Phoebe didn't fight the rape aaaand why the fact that she didn't needed to be explicitly mentioned in the novel.
So, Austin does compare himself to this guy. He is saying that he didn't have sex with Shann to prove anything to himself, but because he loved her (which he says is probably not actually true). He is not comparing the rape aspect. Austin did not choose to handle the situation in the same way that his great grandfather did. Both him and his great grandfather were confused and thought sex with a woman would help, boom, comparison over. Rape guy decided to rape someone, Austin did not. Thus, I didn't find your point relevant.
I think you were harsh to condemn Austin's lack of sexual acts with his gay best friend. I am starting to wonder if we read the same book, or perhaps if you have been through a journey of confusion and self-hatred and repression to do with sexuality. He is dating the female, yes he is going to have more interactions with her. Interactions with Robbie were cheating. Not good. If he hadn't been dating Shann, I may understand your point. The homosexual aspect was evident in his thoughts, and he couldn't properly act on those thoughts, but basically the whole book focuses on his feelings for Robbie. Shann got all the sex stuff because that was his only outlet and he also believed he was in love with her too. Their relationship was questionable, for sure, she certainly lacked depth in her character, but Austin was a young boy and was clueless. I thought it was done well.
The only reason I found this blog post is because a friend of mine who happens to be questioning (she believes she is "probably bi" but I know she is far from accepting herself completely. Don't mind me, somewhat of a "mama lesbian" to my questioning friends.) knew I had read and loved the book and decided to read it. She related a lot to Austin in his confusion and failure to handle the situation well, so perhaps for a bisexual this would not be an ideal read and they'll need to look (more like hunt or forage) for their representation elsewhere. For a questioning person, absolutely ideal, without a doubt. When I read the book last, I had probably been 'out' (only to myself) for about 9 months and the struggle was still a very fresh memory, so I was satisfied too.
As for the fat guy, yeah, that sucks, I'll give you that. Personally I think his laziness was supposed to be the target here, and his severe lack of self-respect, which manifested in MANY more ways than just his weight. All his actions (peeing the bed, playing a lot of video games and, if I remember correctly, excessive consumption of pornography, etc) and thoughts were at play here too. I understand that his harshness may be very unpleasant to read if one was overweight, and they might feel targeted, which would not be good. In terms of the narrative though, the key would be his laziness.
Yeah, Austin wasn't a great person overall. An underlying aspect was that he was narcissistic. He managed to portray himself through his thoughts as being an okay guy, but when you get a glimpse of how the other characters are feeling (Robbie's "you're not bi, you're selfish" comment, pretty much Shann's general existence) it opens him up to criticism. You have to be smart when reading the book and don't get sucked in too hard into Austin's point of view. Overall, I absolutely loved it.
I thought it was kinda good tbh
And lets not stop there, I would go as far as to say that I thought it was admirable how the other characters didn't allow Austin to use his questioning as an excuse for his poor handling of the situation. Hell, I know I've dealt with enough questioning girls who felt that because they were 'confused' it didn't matter that they were hurting me.
Yes, Austin's hyper-sexuality was somewhat overkill but for a person who is confused sexually and may be subconsciously repressing a lot of sexual feelings towards men, it is understandable that those feelings would be released in other areas. (I had this experience when I was growing up, dating many guys and genuinely believing I had feelings for them at the time. I've found many other lesbians who also found themselves "boy-crazy" in their adolescent years, completely unaware of their true feelings.)
I didn't feel that the quote about coffee was referring to rape or any questionable consent? I think what Austin meant by "compliant" was less on the "complaisant" side, not so much a "this girl will let me have sex with her even when she doesn't want to," and more on the consenting side. So kind of like "this girl constantly wants to have sex with me." He isn't stating that he would be angry if that were not the case, or that he feels he deserves a girl like that, he is simply stating that that thought would generally make him horny.
As for the rape of his great-grandmother, I thought that was more complicated than you have pointed out. I believe that Phoebe was raped, for sure, but the point the author is trying to get across is that she was dealing with being in love with a homosexual man. She wanted to have sex with him. I don't believe she wanted it to be like this, I don't believe she wanted to be raped. Again, I believe this was rape. But the POINT; she wanted him to want (key word: want, NOT rape) her and he did not, but she very sadly accepted that this rape would be the only way he would ever want her. She did not enjoy it, obviously, but she was so desperate and sad that she accepted it. The author is portraying two people going through shitty situations, his horrific way of dealing with it and her desperation. He hated Phoebe after because he saw in her his failure, not because she was a rape victim or deflowered or something like that, and he was disgusted with himself too.
It's hard to make a point here because rape is a sensitive issue but it isn't black and white, so to speak. It is a fact that is presented that Phoebe did allow herself to be raped, because she wanted the man to want to have sex with her. It is not the man saying "no it wasn't rape because I know she wanted it!!!" It is not victim blaming. It is still rape, it is still shitty, she still did not enjoy it. If she had fought the rape, the narrative of the story wouldn't have fit. I hope this is coming across how I intend it to, not blaming her or saying it was okay but explaining the intentions of the narrative and why Phoebe didn't fight the rape aaaand why the fact that she didn't needed to be explicitly mentioned in the novel.
So, Austin does compare himself to this guy. He is saying that he didn't have sex with Shann to prove anything to himself, but because he loved her (which he says is probably not actually true). He is not comparing the rape aspect. Austin did not choose to handle the situation in the same way that his great grandfather did. Both him and his great grandfather were confused and thought sex with a woman would help, boom, comparison over. Rape guy decided to rape someone, Austin did not. Thus, I didn't find your point relevant.
I think you were harsh to condemn Austin's lack of sexual acts with his gay best friend. I am starting to wonder if we read the same book, or perhaps if you have been through a journey of confusion and self-hatred and repression to do with sexuality. He is dating the female, yes he is going to have more interactions with her. Interactions with Robbie were cheating. Not good. If he hadn't been dating Shann, I may understand your point. The homosexual aspect was evident in his thoughts, and he couldn't properly act on those thoughts, but basically the whole book focuses on his feelings for Robbie. Shann got all the sex stuff because that was his only outlet and he also believed he was in love with her too. Their relationship was questionable, for sure, she certainly lacked depth in her character, but Austin was a young boy and was clueless. I thought it was done well.
The only reason I found this blog post is because a friend of mine who happens to be questioning (she believes she is "probably bi" but I know she is far from accepting herself completely. Don't mind me, somewhat of a "mama lesbian" to my questioning friends.) knew I had read and loved the book and decided to read it. She related a lot to Austin in his confusion and failure to handle the situation well, so perhaps for a bisexual this would not be an ideal read and they'll need to look (more like hunt or forage) for their representation elsewhere. For a questioning person, absolutely ideal, without a doubt. When I read the book last, I had probably been 'out' (only to myself) for about 9 months and the struggle was still a very fresh memory, so I was satisfied too.
As for the fat guy, yeah, that sucks, I'll give you that. Personally I think his laziness was supposed to be the target here, and his severe lack of self-respect, which manifested in MANY more ways than just his weight. All his actions (peeing the bed, playing a lot of video games and, if I remember correctly, excessive consumption of pornography, etc) and thoughts were at play here too. I understand that his harshness may be very unpleasant to read if one was overweight, and they might feel targeted, which would not be good. In terms of the narrative though, the key would be his laziness.
Yeah, Austin wasn't a great person overall. An underlying aspect was that he was narcissistic. He managed to portray himself through his thoughts as being an okay guy, but when you get a glimpse of how the other characters are feeling (Robbie's "you're not bi, you're selfish" comment, pretty much Shann's general existence) it opens him up to criticism. You have to be smart when reading the book and don't get sucked in too hard into Austin's point of view. Overall, I absolutely loved it.