Wow. This post, well, it sort of knocked me on my ass. It was a much needed reminder about how vital perspective is. See Renay, for so many years now, I've just had this almost sort of hero-worship thing going on. It's equal parts admiration and intimidation, and those feelings are so entangled that I can't even separate them. And much of it stems from how stupid I feel when I read the awesome things you write--to me, you're like a goddess of critical thinking. Sometimes I read your thoughts and am left feeling so lost and ignorant because you're just way beyond me, like I shouldn't be allowed in the same building let alone the same room with you. I dream of being able to analyze and critique things like you and Ana and Jodi can. And I think because of you all, I'm getting better. I'm at least making the effort, even if it's still largely in my head (because I still haven't gotten the hang of actually transferring the thoughts in my head to "paper" in a way that makes sense to anyone but me). So anyway, yeah--perspective. That you have ever felt, as you put it "dumb, unteachable, a lost cause" so boggles my mind that I'm sort of having trouble processing it. But I can't thank you enough for your honesty. I can be so horrible about making assumptions about people. As in "How could someone who is so insightful, so bold and gutsy, so obviously intelligent ever doubt herself or her abilities?" So yeah, thanks for sharing this. Thanks for always keeping me on my toes. Thanks for being the awesomeness that you are.
Debi