ladybusiness | (Reply)

From:

I have a feeling that the redeeming a rapist idea comes from blanket ideas about how forgiveness is the ultimate way to heal the world. I find that idea sketchy to say the least and silencing as well, because you reach a point where to express hurt is to be seen to be bitter and incapable of forgiveness. Even when people do manage geniune forgiveness for people who have committed terrible crimes against them, I get really weird about seeing people outside of the situation celebrate their ability to forgive, with or without receiving any kind of appropriate penance from the perpetrator. Like, it's a personal decision to forgive, or not to forgive when you've been hurt and I don't think it's anyone else's business to validate or invalidate that decision based on some vague ideas about morals.

That makes me sound really hardline probably, so I should probably point out that when I talk about appropriate penance I'm not talking about offenders receiving equivalent punishment to the crime they commit (the death penalty is so awful for one). But it doesn't have to be an eye for an eye style justice, or total, free forgiveness (even after an offender has served in a way that's designed to make ammends). We are all grown ups and there is always an in between.

*random rant endeth*