renay: Pink pony with brown hair and wings on a yellow background bucking hind legs in the air. (Default)
[personal profile] renay
I fail at posting! \o/ And when I do post it's like Book Meta: 'Ware All Ye Who Expect Reviews For You Shall Be Disappointed and Let Down. I've become a ruiner, a ruiner of expectations, of hope, of interesting book commentary.

I have not been guilting myself about it; that's one of our Core Principles here at Lady Business, the No Stress principle. I am not sure we called them that officially, but I'm going with it. But still, I asked myself why I wanted to start this blog and the answer was both "I want to read and talk about books again" and also "I want Jodie and Ana to produce content that's smart and thoughtful FOR ME ALL FOR ME GIMME RIGHT NOW".

That was not a selling point when I approached them...or at least I phrased it differently. There was less overarching greed. Now I'm just owning it. NOW YOU KNOW THE TRUTH, ALL. Judge as you see fit as you get together at your awesome Shakespeare performance WITHOUT ME and also feel free to scroll past this entry of personal bookish meta and literary navel gazing about the future of books (but only in my house).

This is how many books I've been able to read since starting this blog: one (ugh, Kelly hates me).
This is how many books I've started and given up on since starting: nine.

I've been reading, though. I've been reading Shaped Like a Question Mark and Crime and Medicine and The Waking Years and These Unending Alchemies of Honour and Kiss Trick and Call and Answer and The Holly Golightly Club and Go Not Gently. There's more than this; this is just what I have on my iPhone currently. More and more I will default to long fanfiction that's available online in digital formats and I am starting to think it's not just because it's fanfiction. It's also because it's really convenient for my lifestyle, which is well, mostly online (I thrive best hermit-style). It's probably weird to start my Thoughts on Yaoi E-Books using fanfiction, but as I have matured as a reader and become more aware of what I like to read (girls being awesome with no romance, dudes being awesome and romancing each other in front of explosions, explosions in general, pirates, Anything Written By Certain YA Authors of Note and Several Fannish Personalities That Like Pretentious Writing) I realize I have stopped reading as much and trend has been downward since the year I discovered the internet. What's the hold up? I know there are books out there like this now, and they're not hard to find. Renay, what the hell are you doing? Do you hate books?

When e-books first came around and e-readers became a thing (the earliest I remember is 2005, and the Kindle dropped in 2007) I remember being uninterested. I didn't really think they would catch on, and I am so picky about my technology as it is. Even years I wasn't reading, this was back when I couldn't imagine giving up the physical object, the pages and the covers and the smell and the cute bookmarks, the piles of books everywhere just waiting to be read, the enjoyment of curling up with a book and a cup of tea and a blanket. This was back when reading books didn't hurt my eyes or give me headaches because I can't seem to get the lighting anywhere in my apartment appropriate for reading anymore.

There's also the fact that I read faster on a screen. This blows my mind, as it used to be the complete opposite. But now hand me a hard copy of a book that's 270 pages and it will take me six hours to read it, whereas if it was digital I could knock it out in three or four. This is why so much of my reading during the semester took me forever; it was all hard copy.

So now I am faced with the fact that I love stories, but I am really not attached to books anymore. I have always been the type to take to new technology easily. I pick up new UI's with no real problem. But it's so weird to go into a bookstore now and stare at books I want to read but know I won't buy because I never will read them. The method of delivery has lost its shine when it comes to text (I have not yet faced this with sequential art, I already foresee a horrible, painful breakup). It's both intriguing (new tech! shiny! 1,000 of stories at my fingertips on a memory card! searching a document with Find!) and depressing (dog eared pages, handmade bookmarks from friends, that new book smell, opening a hardcover for the first time, cracking jokes about door-stopper novels, midnight releases, signed copies of books from authors). Even with all the items in the second parenthetical, it doesn't help: I don't care and can't make myself care unless the story is on a screen, because hilariously, it's not worth the headache. I don't even have any good answers for myself. I am saving for a Nook Color, but I still have books and am hoping that if I just admit I am moving on from these objects I will feel less guilty picking them up.

Oh, 21st century. I would say never change, but that's all you are, for books and reading and everything else.

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Queer lady geek Clare was raised by French wolves in the American South. more? » twitter icon webpage icon

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